Self-Care Isn't Selfish!

  • By Mel Wright
  • 15 Feb, 2019

Over the last week or so I’ve seen several articles about self-care, most of them positive and several social media postings about the same, largely negative. So, what is self-care and what does it mean for us?

At is most basic, self-care is about taking an active role in protecting your own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress. Easy to see why there’d be plenty of positivity around that, but why the negativity on social media? Because one person’s self-care is perceived as another’s indulgence and on social media some people are more than happy to point that out!

It was the Huff Post’s article earlier today on whether self-care is a solution to men reaching burnout that prompted me to find some time between appointments to talk about it. Why? Well in my line of work I’m a part of many people’s self-care activities, whether that’s a conscious decision or not. But one thing about the article in particular struck a chord with me – the focus on men and our reluctance to do self-care. The article itself acknowledged that some of us find it “too girly” or we don’t want to be seen as needing to take care of ourselves. Whilst I have a roughly 50:50 gender split in my clients what I am seeing is that for the initial appointment fewer men are taking the step themselves to book in, but their partners are getting in touch, setting out the problems their partner has (largely related to physical work), booking them in and sending them to me. Once here they soon see that massage isn’t a fluffy self-indulgence, but something that can help them look after themselves better. I’m even helping create a few male yoga converts too, it helps both the mind and body and while for now most of us haven’t got the confidence to get social with yoga in a class (YouTube videos in our living rooms) for the one’s who do The Wholesome Apple’s classes come highly recommended.

There is no single viewpoint on the best self-care ideas, because not everyone gives the same importance to all self-care activities.

For example, my wife views an afternoon of digging/planting/other gardening activity at our allotment as one of the most relaxing and at the same time invigorating experiences in her life. Spending time there, hands in the mud, encouraging life from a tiny seed provides balance for her, and gives her energy to face many challenges. But when I’m round there helping out, it actually builds tension in my body and mind, mainly because I know I‘m in for a few days of pain from my sciatica so the whole process annoys me and leads to tension; not something you want from self-care. So for my wife gardening is one of the best self-care ideas in the world, but personally I would never put that on my personal list of self-care activities. Mine includes: the occasional massage, yoga, reading a good book, making something previously messy tidy, listening to music that brings back happy memories and going for a good walk. Some days/weeks those things change and I need to do other things, but they’re at the core of my self-care activities.

This, of course, adds to the complexity of self-care. There is no one formula for caring for you. Just because one form of self-care works for me doesn’t mean it will help others, and so as well as massage which I think is one of the best forms of self-care for both the mind and body, I’ve tried to find a self-care ideas list which is as detailed as possible, filled with lots of self-care activities. I wanted to include as many options as possible for people to choose from. That way, people are free to ignore the ideas that don’t excite them and focus on the self-care ideas that actually make a difference in their well-being.

I hope you find something on there that helps you embrace your own self-care, and if that happens to be massage why not give me a call to book in.

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